Thursday, February 17, 2011

Mommy guilt

Ugh, where to start? This pregnancy plus toddler thing is hard. I don't think I am more sick than I was with Madeline but coping with work was so much easier than this full-time mommy gig! :) When I was pregnant with Madeline I did almost nothing outside of go to work and sleep for the first 11 weeks - literally nothing.  The bare essential housework, no cooking, the occasional load of laundry once a week and that was it. I slept for something like 12 hours every night.

This time couldn't be more different. Life with a two-year old never stops. She can't live on peanut butter sandwiches and we do way more than 1 load of laundry a week. More than anything she just wants me and I am not me right now which is really hard. She wants to play and chase and go to the park. I want to sleep and not think about what to cook for the next meal because while the actual food doesn't make me sick the thought of cooking it does.

I consider myself fairly patient with her and understanding of her age limitations but lately I find myself with far less patience and a lot more guilt. I know she won't remember these days and I know that I will eventually feel better (or find a better way to cope!) but right now I feel like I am cheating her out of our time together. This is it...we have 8 months of just us before life changes and although I know that the changes are wonderful and will enhance our family I don't want to miss a single moment with my girl.

Don't get me wrong I am so excited about this baby. I know that Madeline is going to (eventually?) love having a brother or sister. I know that I will feel better at some point and if my pregnancy with Madeline is any indication that point is in about 4 weeks. I know that I am not scarring her for life nor diminishing her love for me.

That is my little pity party and now that I have written it all out and had a good cry I feel much better. This is a good thing since naptime is over and I need to make a valiant attempt at being fun Mommy for a few more hours (and do the laundry and the dishes and make dinner).

Monday, February 14, 2011

2011...A BIG Year

2011 is a big year for us with many exciting things to not only reminisce about but many to look forward to as well.

This year, actually just a few weeks from now, marks the 10 year anniversary of our first date and in May we will celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary. It has also been 10 years since we graduated from high school and six years since I graduated from college. In November Madeline will turn 3 years old and by December Chris will be halfway done with his DPhil.

The most exciting thing to look forward to this year is a new addition to our little family. Yes, we are expecting another baby due to arrive in early October! We are extremely excited and can't wait to have a precious little one again. It is hard to believe that it has been almost three years since we found out I was pregnant with Madeline - time goes by so quickly! When I think about all of the wonderful moments she has brought to our lives I get simply giddy at the idea of what is to come. I can't wait to hold a newborn and watch Madeline as a big sister. Although she doesn't understand what is going on she is "so excited about the baby"!

We do have some decisions and possible changes to make, namely finding a larger apartment/house, so please keep us in your prayers. We know that this is God's perfect timing and that he knows what we need and will provide it in his time.

To answer the questions that always come with this type of announcement:
Due date - Oct 2
I feel great just a little tired.
We plan to find out the gender in May.

So that is how our 2011 is shaping up!