Go...cook these...now!

Ever get stuck in a dinner rut? Yea, I do all of the time. Somedays we have grilled cheese and fruit. Or macaroni and cheese and fruit. Or quesadillas and fruit. Hmm... there seems to be a pattern. Anyway, I recently came across these two recipes and after a few tweaks I think they are nearly perfect. I have single-handedly saved your boring dinners for the next two nights. You didn't know my love language is words of affirmation? Well, it is and I am not above begging. :)

Chicken Florentine

adapted from this recipe

4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts

1 tbls. butter

1/4 cup butter

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 tbls. lemon juice

1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup

1/2 tsp dried oregano

1/2 tsp. dried basil

1/2 tsp. dried parsley

1/2 cup half-and-half (or single cream in the UK)

1/2 cup fresh grated Parmesan cheese 

3-4 handfuls of fresh baby spinach leaves (real scientific measurement, huh?!)

6 mushrooms, sliced (whatever variety you have on hand)

4-6 bacon slices

1-1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350F (175C). Saute the mushrooms, 1 minced garlic clove and spinach in the 1 tbls. of butter until the spinach is wilted. Spread on the bottom of a glass baking dish (I used a 8 inch round dish). Place raw chicken on top. Salt and pepper the chicken to your taste. 

Melt the 1/4 cup of butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat, Stirring constantly mix in the rest of the garlic, lemon juice, cream of mushroom soup, dried herbs, cream and Parmesan cheese. Pour over chicken. Arrange bacon slices on top of the chicken.

Bake 25 minutes uncovered. Take out and sprinkle on the mozzarella cheese. Return to oven and bake for an additional 10 minutes. Serve with rice. I like to put my chicken directly on top of the rice along with the spinach and mushrooms. Cover with the sauce.

Beef with Peppers

adapted from this recipe

1-1 1/2 pound Flank Steak, sliced very thin against the grain (if you are like me and can't find flank steak, any cut that can be sliced thinly should do the trick)

1/2 cup soy sauce

3 tbls. sherry

2 tbls. packed brown sugar

2 tbls. cornstarch

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp. ground ginger

1 tsp. red chili paste (or a few dashes of red chili oil)

2 tbls. canola oil

1 medium yellow onion, sliced

1 red pepper, sliced

1 yellow pepper, sliced

Mix together soy sauce, sherry, brown sugar, cornstarch, ginger, garlic, and chili paste (or chili oil.) Place sliced beef in the mixture and toss to coat. Set aside.

Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large skillet over medium-high to high heat. When it is very hot, throw in the onions and cook for less than a minute. Remove to a separate plate. Return skillet to flame, allow to reheat, and add bell peppers. Cook for a minute, tossing, until peppers have brown/black bits but are still firm. Remove to a plate.

Return skillet to heat and allow to get hot. Add the remaining tablespoon of oil to the skillet. Add 1/3 of the meat mixture, evenly distributing over the surface of the skillet. Allow to sit for 20 to 30 seconds, then turn with tongs. Cook for another 30 seconds, then remove to a separate plate. Repeat with remaining meat until all brown.

Reduce heat to low. Add all meat, onions, and peppers to the skillet and toss to combine. Pour in remaining sauce and stir. Allow to simmer on low for a few minutes. Sauce will slowly thicken. Turn off heat. Serve with rice or rice noodles if you can find them. We also had steamed purple cabbage with this and it was a great compliment.

Bon appetite! 

Thank you

I wanted to take just a moment to say thank you to everyone who has written or called after I posted below about the miscarriage. The responses have made me smile and cry at the same time! I hate that others have experienced similar losses. At the same time, it is encouraging to hear how you have walked through the process and are continuing to heal and grow.

Last week I attended a baby shower for a friend. I would be lying if I said there weren't a few moments of hurt and at times I wondered if going had been the right decision. I came home a little sad and a little discouraged. That night I read an email from a friend who after years of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant recently adopted a beautiful little girl. I thought about how she had been so present and encouraging when I was pregnant with Madeline. She came to my baby shower and smiled and bought beautiful presents. She followed every post and bump picture. She was the first to say congratulations when Madeline was born. In short, she put aside her own feelings of hurt and disappointment to be my friend and celebrate with me. I never heard her complain or say that she needed space.

That is the example of a friend who loves through her own pain. That is the example that I wish to emulate.  That is the kind of friend God has called me to be.

I wrote my friend and apologized because, at the time, I didn't understand what she was going through. I was not as sensitive as I should have been. I was naive and although at some level I knew she was going through a hard time I had no idea of the hurt she was experiencing.

I am a better person and friend today because of her example. I hope that I can be the same in someone else's life.

Small steps forward

I think I am finally ready to talk about the last 3 months in our lives. I have sat down to write these words so many times and yet, the words wouldn't come. It is weird because I have no problem talking with friends or family about our recent struggles. I don't cry when I talk about it with friends or mention it in passing as our lives move forward. For me, writing is so personal and putting my thoughts and feelings down on paper (screen!) makes everything feel more real. Writing gives me time to sit and dwell on my experiences and feelings which often leads to true transparency. With that in mind, please forgive me if this post gets long and wordy and quite possibly very untidy.


On 23 March we went to the hospital for the 12 week ultrasound of our unexpected but very welcome newest addition (Announcement) set to arrive at the beginning of October. I had been feeling all the normal 1st trimester sickness but at 12.5 weeks things were starting to improve. We were beyond excited to finally see this little one! We decided to take Madeline with us and looking back I will always regret that decision. The moment the technician started the ultrasound I knew something was wrong. I have seen plenty of ultrasounds and knew that everything looked too small and that there was clearly not a heartbeat. The technician quickly confirmed that the pregnancy was not progressing and that there was no heartbeat. I remember feeling like the air had been sucked from my lungs. I couldn't breathe. All I could see was my little girl excitedly watching the monitor hoping to see a baby and just past her head the screen was empty. What do you say? How do you explain what is happening through your own tears? How do you take in what the nurses and doctors are communicating when all you can think is that you must be dreaming? Of course, we then have to leave and walk out in front of all of the people waiting to see their healthy babies. The nurses and doctors were all amazing and sympathetic but there is nothing that anyone can say in that moment.


So much of that day is a blur. I do very distinctly remember sitting on the bus headed home. We had taken the same bus to the hospital just a few hours earlier. What a difference those few hours had made. The ride there had been full of laughter and joy while the ride home was quiet and tearful. So many things raced through my head - how were we going to tell people, should I have the surgery or not, what would we do with Madeline if I did have the surgery, why did this happen, did I do something wrong? The questions wouldn't stop.


We did decide to go ahead with the out-patient surgery. Not an easy decision but once it was made I knew it was the right thing to do. I am so thankful for my dear friend Betsy who offered to keep Madeline in her home all day while we were at the hospital. She has two little girls of her own and her husband was out of the country at the time. That is a true friend and was a huge blessing to us.


I could go on and on but the basics of the last few months can be summed up pretty easily - I recovered great, have a clean bill of health and we are moving forward. What can't be summed up is the emotional healing that comes in stages. I know that there is no perfect prescription for getting through a miscarriage. There are no immediate answers and no 5 step plans that can make it all better. No one can tell you when you will stop thinking about it or how you will feel every time someone announces a pregnancy. It is different for every person.


Initially, I dealt with all of the normal and probably expected emotions. Sadness, hurt, disappointment, anger all within a few short hours. I was surprised that after the first few days life seemed to settle back to normal. I didn't think about the pregnancy every minute of the day. Being a wife and mom took up my  time and I was able continue with every day tasks without breaking down. Then one day it hit me. We were at a function with friends and someone who I had only met that day excitedly shared that she and her husband were expecting their second child. Of course, in the moment, I smiled and said congratulations but inside I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. She had no idea of what we had been through just a few short weeks before. I couldn't be mad at her - it wasn't her fault. I knew what it was like to have such exciting news and to be about to burst to tell people. For the first time that afternoon (since the initial news and surgery), I completely broke down sobbing. It was what I needed. I needed to get it all out and say the things that you're not supposed to say. I was angry that I was the one who was supposed to be pregnant, I was the one who was supposed to find out the gender of our baby in a matter of weeks, I was supposed to be looking for summer maternity clothes and double strollers.


Since that day there have been plenty of opportunities to break down - pregnant women at the park, newborns in my moms weekly Bible study, when someone innocently asks if Madeline is our only child or if we are thinking about having another. Thankfully, the breakdowns have been few and far between and every day gets easier. I know that it is common and at this point there is no reason to think we won't go on to have more children. I know that I didn't do or eat anything wrong. I know that God has a bigger plan and for some reason that I don't understand this is the path that we are walking. I sent an email to a dear friend a few days after the ultrasound and said this:


"I keep remembering that God's ways are perfect and he is sovereign in all things. It is times like this when you go back to the basics - God loves me, God only wants the best for me, God is not surprised by anything."


I have held onto those truths through the past 3 months. I have seen God's mercies throughout the whole time. I couldn't ask for a better partner than Chris who has provided such strength and love. Madeline is as always the light in my life. Although I never thought I could love her more than I already did, I am so much more aware of how grateful I am to have her. Our families and friends have prayed for us and sent encouraging words from afar just when we needed them. I have a dear friend here who has stepped into my life and loved me exactly as I needed without pretense or judgment. 


We are taking small steps forward. We are very excited to be almost done with our first year in Oxford. Hopefully only 2 more to go! I have recently accepted a part-time administrative position at the university that starts in August. Chris has been able to work his schedule to stay home with Madeline for 2 days and she will go to a friend's house for another half day. It means some adjustments to our family but we are confident that this is what God has for us right now. I am excited about a new adventure. 


As always, we would appreciate your thoughts and prayers for our family. We are stronger today than we were 6 months ago but that doesn't mean that there aren't hard days as we make these changes.